New Year

It's hard to believe that 2o1o is almost over. Its been a busy and active year, to say the least. I've already given my "the best events of 2010" in a previous post.....so I won't go there again. But it's worth noting that with all the ups, we've had to weather the downs. For that, I am proud of us.

Love allows us to do and say all sorts of things. Imaging what "could" be, or relishing in what "is". Sometimes love just sucks.

I've had moments of deepst love for Walt this last year....so deep I thought I'd drown from the lovliness of it. The day we renewed our vows was one of those days. It was beautiful, meaningful, and so special. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I loved and trusted this man more than anyone could imagine. The proceeding honeymoon only deepened those feelings. We had such a wonderful time.

The move was stressful but exciting. It was crazy to think we'd actually fulfilled our dream of moving back to Las Vegas. The years we'd spent rebuilding, forgiving, and working on a healthy life together only to come back to where our darkest days had been spent. It was momentus, and incredible.

On December 8th I learned that my husband hadn't been completely honest with me. He'd had who knew how many women he was secretly talking to. Not just recently, but for years. It devistated me. Crushed what I'd grown to believe. Sickened by the fact that he dared risk our marriage yet again.

So as I watch the new year approach, I do so with hesitancy and fear of what is to be. He's supposed to get "help", but the way I feel, it's going to take a lot more than "help" to fix what's wrong with us.

Ending the year on such a sour note sucks. I have hope for happiness again.....I pray for it.

Christmas 2010 has come and gone. It's hard to believe that the year is coming to a close.

It's been such an eventful year, it's hard to pinpoint just one magical moment. With the beauty of the year, there has been darkness too.

Our vow renewal and honeymoon in May was as wonderful as one could imagine. Feeling of genuine love and appreciation was the best gift of all.

Quitting our jobs and moving to Las Vegas was an adventure. Searching for work and living in the "motel" was humbling and character building. Thankfully we both got good jobs, and found this lovely house to rent!! God is definitely watching over us.

The one bump we've had this year was the whole expired tab debacal and finding out that Walt has been keeping secrets. It breaks my heart to think that all the happiness and dreams I'd once again believed in was fake and not what I thought.

I pray the new year brings answers and healing......I don't know what to expect or where to put m faith anymore within this marriage.

Dear Lord, thank you for all the blessings and joy this last year has brought to our lives. Please keep watch over all those we hold dear, and I pray for those that are disconnected from our lives. Thank you for bringing us here, for this wonderful home, and for the hope of the new year.
In your loving and gracious Name.....Amen.

Year highlights: Saints win the SuperBowl; vow renewal, honeymoon in Vegas, and seeing the sunrise over the Grand Canyon; summer in Seattle; quitting my job and packing up our house; the exciting drive to Las Vegas; living in the ghetto; getting reaquainted with old friends; finding a job; meeting Olivier and moving into a house; Christmas spirit; and loving my best friend more than life itself.....

Absence.....

It's been far too long since I've updated my blog.....it's been a busy two weeks.

I am loving my new job, and enjoying being able to get to know my new co-workers. I'm learning the ropes, those to trust, and unfortunately, even those not to trust. (sad huh?)

I'm doing pretty much the same type of work as I did in my last job, but with actual paper charts. It's fun, interesting, and challenging.

We also completed an application for a really nice house to rent. I am so hopeful that this works out. The house is huge for just the two of us and the pets, but it would be so nice to have all that room. I'm praying hard that this works out. I am so tired of this room.

Thanksgiving was quiet.....and turkey free........(we're making up for it once we get moved in somewhere)

Dear Lord, please watch over our kids, our friends, and our family......we give thanks for all those who enrich our lives.....Thank you for all the blessings you've given us....and those yet to be. In your Giving Name....Amen.

A new Phase begins

Tomorrow I start my new job. A new phase of my life begins. I'm nervous, excited, worried, and incredibly happy. Finally, moving forward. It's a great feeling.

My first thought was....."Oh crap, what do I wear??" Um....hello? Beck...you're a dork. But it's a legitimate question, right?

I feel so blessed and humbled. I've spent the better part of the last month or so searching, applying, interviewing and WORRYING about EVERYTHING. It's a nice feeling to finally be moving in the right direction, doing something new, and help Walt take care of our little family.

Oh...and the paycheck.....YAY!! We'll get to move into our own place...and the shopping!!

Dear Lord, thank you for the job I have; for being able to start and do something worthwhile with my time; I am grateful for caring people; I am blessed with good people in my life, thank you; Please watch over Walt as he comes home from work; take care of Holly and Sarah; embrace our family and friends; In Your Loving Hands I pray.....Amen.

Loving Life

I can't help it. I am loving life. ::::knock on wood::::: Things are going pretty darned good.

We've had some bumps since moving here, but overall, I think things have worked out really well. Both of us have jobs (even though I am still waiting to hear when my start date is), we've had a place to lay our head and keep our pets, food to eat, and we've even snuck in a little fun in between.

God is so good to us. Even when I was feeling depressed and concerned, He continually showed me the way. Learning patience and holding on to my self confidence helped me wait it out. I always knew something would happen.

Lord, thank you for all the blessings you have given us; thank you for watching over us and making sure we have everything we need; thank you for the love that is between us and for seeing the best in one another; watch over Walt as he heads to work; put your healing hands on Sarah as she heals from her illness; thank you for friends who love and support us; Watch over Holly and hold her close; In Your loving arms I send my prayers.....Amen.

God is Good.....

I got another call today for a job. For weeks I went without a single job offer and in the last few days, I've had two of them. I know that I made the right choice in working for the Retina Consultants.....but it sure feels good to be appreciated and wanted.

God has been so good to me....and to us. Not only are we both employed, we have had enough to eat and a roof over our heads. We are blessed beyond words. We made a special addition to our family in spite of having to make some hard choices regarding other furry kids. Again, I feel so blessed.

Receiving an unexpected check on Saturday really made me realize how blessed we are. We cashed it and have had extra money for the week. Truly a blessing.

Dear Lord, thank you for unexpected blessings and surprises. Thank you for all you've given to us. Please take care of Walt and give him patience and help him as he works both jobs; please watch over Sarah and Holly; thank you for loving people in our lives;
In You loving Name....Amen.

Waiting....

Not one of the things I am best at....but I'm trying.

Today I am waiting for word of when I get to start my new job. It won't seem "real" to me until I have a definite date and time. I'm just so ready.

I was very sad this morning. I had to find out my daughter was in the ER by reading it on Facebook. I feel terrible. I wish there was more I could do.

On a positive note, I've been knitting most of the day, and my blanket is really coming along. It's going to be so wonderful to give it away as a gift.....

Typical Monday I guess....hopefully next Monday morning I'll be heading to work with Walt.

Thank you Lord for all the wonderful gifts and blessings you have given us; thank you for watching over all our loved ones and friends; Please have a healing hand over Sarah as she recovers from the asthma attack; Watch over Laurie F as she recovers from surgery; In your Loving Name, Amen.....

Things NOT to forget.....

1. Never forget to say thank you when someone gives you good customer service.....
2. Act as though you won a million dollars even if it's only $5.....it's more than you started with.
3. Pay it forward whenever possible......you may need a favor someday too....
4. Kittens attack everything.....toes, strings, balls of yarn....baby proof.
5. Laundry doesn't have to be an all day project.
6. Stop and smell the roses....or whatever fragrant flower you pass by....
7. Cherish those in your life.....break bread with them.....even at a buffet....
8. Make new friends whenever possible.
9. Counting your blessings begins with 1, then 2.....repeat as needed.
10. Persistence may not be a virtue, but it should be....
11. Patience is a virtue....I'm working on it.
12. follow your dreams......we're living examples of living the dream......
13. Surround yourself with positive people.....life will be positively delightful.....
15. Find joy....if you don't find it, let it find you.....

More to follow.....

Lord, thank You for all the blessings you have given to us; thank you for the unexpected gifts; please watch over our loved ones and friends; help my new employer to call me tomorrow and set a date for me to start; Thank you for the opportunity to shine and use my gifts; I thank you for all the love I feel every day from Walt and my friends/family; In your Loving Name.....Amen.

This is a picture of an "employed" person. Yes....I was offered a job! I cannot even say how incredibly blessed I feel to have been given this opportunity.

I went to have all the drug testing done yesterday, and will hopefully start my new job Tuesday or Wednesday. I am so excited to get back into the workforce and out there interacting with people.

Last night Walt and I went to the Excalibur Hotel/Casino to celebrate and have some fun. We ate at Dick's Last Resort......not your ordinary bar!! But the food was good and the atmosphere fun.

It was a wonderful end to a stressful week. I am feeling so incredibly thankful.....

Dear Lord, thank you for my new job and for the opportunity to show all my skills and experience; thank you for allowing me to help support our family; please watch over our loved ones and friends; keep watch over Sarah and Holly; Safe travels for friends who are here visiting.....In Your Loving and Gracious Hands I pray......Amen.

Smile makers: coffee in bed; dinner out at a fun place; Walt's support and reaction over my getting a job; new kitty love; puppies in the morning; Walt's happy face.

First book completed

I finished the first book of my 50 books in 1 year challenge. It took me a month to read, which isn't a very good start of reading 49 more books before the end of September 2011. I'd better get busy.

The book was a typical Jude Deavreaux book. Historical romance novels are her best. I've read almost all her books.

The book starts in old Scotland, and the main characters find themselves in early America. Ups and downs, twists and turns......typical romance novel.

For a book that I bought in both hardback and paperback, it was a 6 on a scale of 1-10.

I'm now reading Eat, Pray and Love.

Dear Lord, thank you for plentiful books to read about different worlds; thank you for all the blessings we have; please watch over our loved ones and friends; I especially hold up Holly and Sarah into your hands and pray that you help them and be with them; Watch over Walt.

In Your Loving Hands I pray.....Amen.

Life just gets better!

This is our new "friend". His name is Roscoe, and he's the most adorable little orange kitten I've ever seen. We went to the shelter to see if Katie had been adopted, and decided to go through the cat room.....This little guy chose me. What a little sweetheart, and has brought so many smiles to us. We are blessed and grateful to have our cute new little friend join our family. NYNY hasn't changed, but I still love the outside with the Statue of Liberty. I probably take a picture every time we're stopped at the Boulevard. Just love it.

Halloween was fun in Vegas. We walked the strip, and there were all sorts of decorations and of course people dressed up. It was really cool.

Then we went to Caesars and I was able to meet the baseball great Pete Rose. He is one of 3 people in the entire world that I wanted to meet. He wasn't as "friendly" as I would have hoped he'd be, but I was able to speak to him and tell him how much I thought of him. Even if it meant nothing to him, it meant EVERYTHING to me. What an amazing experience that was. He's been my hero since 1977 when I went to my first professional baseball game with my Dad.

The job hunting continues with interviews almost every day. Someone has to appreciate the twinkle in my eye......I'm so tired of sitting in this room!!

Elections are over....thankgooness. If I had to watch ONE MORE political ad on tv I might go insane.

Today's Prayer:

Dear Lord, thank you for all the blessings you have given us, and may we continue to be blessed with all we need. Please help a prospective employer to take a chance on me. Please watch over Holly as I haven't spoken to her for awhile, and couldn't get a hold of her yesterday on her birthday. Please give Sarah peace and show her the way to happiness. Watch over our friends and family. Help Walt arrive to work safely and return to me. In your Loving and Gracious Name.....Amen.

Happy thoughts: A JOB; morning kisses; coffee; sunrise; kitten goofiness; furry friends; Walt.

Nothing without friends

I just can't imagine getting through this last month without my friends. Not only do I feel a connection to a faraway place, their constant support of me is appreciated and amazing.

I've had highs and lows over the last few weeks. Having to give up Katie really set me back. I still miss her, but have resigned myself to her being better off, I'm better too.

The job hunt continues. The encouragement that I've received from my friends has helped me stay focused and positive. It's hard sometimes. I just want to have a place to go and interact with real people. I'm bored and that's never good.

Dear Lord, thank you for all my wonderful friends, for their love and support; thank you for all the blessings we've received and that will come our way; please watch over loved ones and friends as they start their day; please watch over Walt as he works for us and guide him safely home; please guide prospective employers to see all the good I have to offer.....
In Your loving Name....Amen.

Making my own Opportunities

It's Monday, again. Today we've been here three weeks. I was so sure that I'd have a job that first week. Seems like an eternity ago.

But this morning I feel confident. Maybe it's the phone interview I had with a large healthcare company this morning. All that "talking about myself and my accomplishments". I'd be a valued employee no matter where I end up. I just don't know how not to succeed professionally. (it's the personally that I have issues with LOL) I'm feeling full of myself. I guess that's what I need, right? More positive, less negative.

I continue to apply for jobs. It's become my "job." Walt heads off to work, and I scour the internet for job opportunities. Wish it paid....I'd be rich.

I KNOW something is going to happen soon. I can feel it. I'm not asking for the world, just a good job in which I can excel and succeed. Not asking for much.

Dear Lord, thank you for the time Walt and I spent together this last weekend; thank you for all the blessings and for the gifts we have; please watch over our friends and family, and let them know in their hearts how much they mean to us; Watch over Walt as he is at work and driving through town; I have faith that you'll guide me into the right job;
In Your Loving and Giving Hands I Pray.....Amen.

Happiness means to me: puppy kisses in the morning; another beautiful day; Love from my best friend and husband; having friends; coffee that tastes so darn good; gifts to be grateful for.

Old Movies, Lazy Days, Staying positive

It's a beautiful Sunday in the desert. I love that it's sunny.....it has been sunny much of the time we've been here. Except for a few days of heavy rain, and some lightening and thunder. I love that type of weather.

The job search continues. I've gotten so good at filling out applications, I know all the information by heart. Something positive is going to happen soon.

We've been watching old movies all morning. Who'd have thought I'd get Walt to watch A Streetcar Named Desire......all the way through LOL He hasn't even tried to switch to a football game. I know that's coming soon.

Dear Lord, thank you for all the blessings you've given us. Thank you for this beautiful day. Please watch over all our loved ones and friends. Keep Holly and Sarah close and safe. Please help someone to see what a great employee I'll be.
In Your Loving and Gracious Name....Amen.

Happy things: coffee, puppies, sunny days, Walt, old movies, love.

Not so alone....

I had a wonderful conversation with my cousin Margaret. It's good to know that I do in fact have family out there.....a bit of a distant relative, but at least she cares enough to contact to me. I'm not so alone....and it's a good feeling.

Hidden blessings are wonderful.....finding those blessings is so beautiful. I hope that something good comes of it. She needs family too. Having our parents gone makes one feel awfully alone. She's got siblings, but I'm not sure how good they are to her.

Just wanted to acknowledge this new blessing.....saying it out loud makes it real.

Thank you Lord for family and good people who just want to be in your life "because".....not because they feel obligated or aren't sincere.

Amen.....

Finding a Rainbow

When I went to pick up Walt from work, it started to rain. It doesn't "rain" here....it pours!! So after the rain shower, there was this beautiful rainbow. A wonderful reminder that through the ugliness of whats raining, a beautiful rainbow can shine through.

I was reminded that I need to find my rainbow. I've been feeling very depressed lately and very discouraged about not receiving a call for a job. I need to remember that at the end of the showers of interviews (nice metaphor huh?), my rainbow will shine through. I need to stay positive and remain faithful that the right job is going to come along. I needn't worry about things. Walt has things under control. He's been so wonderful about everything. And OH SO supportive. Not sure what I'd do without him.

I'm happy to be here.....and grateful that we've been able to fulfill this dream. Keep the faith Becky.....it's all going to work out.

Dear Lord, thank you for the beauty of rainbows, refreshing rain, and for all the blessings you have given us. Thank you for food to eat, a dry place to live, and for all the love of our friends and family. Please watch over Walt as he is out there working for our family. Please watch over our girls, friends and family. Thank you for puppy love, and please help Katie find a good home.

In Your Loving and Faithful Name.....Amen.

Things that make me smile: a good night's sleep; puppies; old movies; coffee that makes everything smell like morning; job prospects.

Closure

I drove to the shelter where Katie is. I asked if she was still there. They brought her out, and she didn't seem all that excited but acted as though she knew me. They wanted $35 for me to take her home. $35 we didn't have at the time. I stood there and cried. They wouldn't release her to me without the fee.

So I left. Called Walt and talked to him. He, of course, thinks I'm completely out of my mind....but understands why I miss this dog. I call the shelter and speak to someone. She says that Katie will be there until she's adopted. They do not kill the animals there. The chances of her being adopted are very good. She's young, active, and beautiful. So that's when I made the final decision. She deserves a different home where she can be the only princess and doesn't have to feel bossy and aggressive around other dogs.

I am letting go. Finally....I think. I have to. It IS the best thing for this family, and ultimately, for her. She seemed happy.....and cared for. That's all I could ever ask. She'll make someone a wonderful friend and they'll appreciate her wacky sense of humor, barking at nothing and doorbells on the tv, and her need to be the only one.

I'm still so sad, but happy that she'll not be put to sleep. It's the closure I needed to SEE and FEEL.

Thank you Lord for this blessing of peace and knowing that Katie will be cared for and loved; thank you for all the blessings we have and will be coming our way; please help prospective employers to see that I am THE ONE for the job and it's meant to be; watch over my girls, our friends, and our furry friends here; thank you for Walt's job and his happiness....in your Loving and Giving Name....Amen.

Things that have made me smile so far today: the SUNSHINE (I'm so predictable); Carmel iced lattes; puppy happiness in the morning; pretty hair; a job interview; wonderful and supportive friends.....

Living with choices.....

I love this picture of my boys. I couldn't ask for more loving and sweet dogs. In light of the decision we had to make earlier this week, finding happiness and joy in the boys' faces has helped me. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to either of them. Recenting an animal is not healthy, and that's what would have happened.

Today I have an interview at another casino. I'm speaking to them about several customer service jobs. I really want to find something, get out there, feel like I am contributing, and hopefully find a place to live. That would be wonderful.

Our friend Shirley's landlord has another has that will be available in a couple of weeks which is perfect for us. Two story house....close to her. Summerlin again. Would be so nice.

I still have to pinch myself that we are really here. It's such a beautiful thing.

Lord, please continue to bless us with all the joys and happiness that we have been receiving; thank you for our health and goodwill; please watch over my girls, and our friends; please bring someone loving to adopt Katie; please show my perspective employers that I am worth the chance and opportunity....in Your loving and Gracious Name.....Amen.

Life without Katie

I'm miserable, and it is all I can do not to go and get the dog back. Why? She's a tough dog, barks a lot, bites, and has no manners......why? Because I love her.

I miss her so much. I hate that we had to take her to the shelter. I hate that we had to make that choice. We really didn't have another choice. We'd tried everything. EVERYTHING. Then when Kleine was gone, she seemed ok with Dack. Her attacking him surprised us....even shocked us. But we'd made a vow that if she ever attacked the boys, that was it. She was gone.

But that doesn't diminish my sadness or longing for her. I think about her there. I think about her wondering if we're coming back.....where are they? They are my people......why am I here.

Torturing myself......

Dear God, please watch over Katie and help her find a new family. Please let them love her as much as I do....and care for her.....please watch over her......please watch over my girls......please have one of these people I've interviewed with call me and take a chance on me....
In Your caring and loving arms I send this prayer.......Amen.

Here we are again....

I am just heartbroken. Katie attacked Dack last night, and wouldn't let go. Dack was so scared and freaked out, and I know he was in pain. (no blood thankfully)

We had to separate the dogs all night, which meant no one got any sleep. Today is Walt's first day at work, and this is the LAST thing he needs to deal with. We decided that if Katie went after Dack again, that was it....the decision was made. And she did.

My heart hurts, and I know I am going to miss her. We have done everything we can to help re-train this dog to be loving and not aggressive. We have loved her and brought her with us to Las Vegas in hopes that what happened before would never happen again. And it did. And it hurts like hell. I don't like the idea of having to take this dog, who I have loved, to the pound and never knowing what happens to her. We don't have a choice. We can't advertise and we can't find a home. It's not like they can all live together until that day comes. She's aggressive and mean now.

I don't understand why I've had to let go of so many things lately.....and I feel sort of picked on. I feel as though I've rolled with all the punches that have come my way.....and accepted that this is God's path and plan for me. But right now, I don't feel as though this is the way it was meant to be. I'm sick.

Yet, I have to accept this, and love my boys with all my heart. It's just them now. We've dwindled down the number of pets from who knows how many to 3. I love Walt so much that he is willing to do the hard stuff this time. I just can't. I just wish it had happened on a day when he wasn't starting a brand new job.

I can't stop crying, and this affects everyone around me. But I can't handle the sound of dogs fighting and the sight of one of them hurting the other. It breaks my heart.

Today's Prayer:
Dear Lord please forgive us for not being able to handle Katie's aggressiveness. Please help the shelter find her a home where she can get all the love she wants and she doesn't have to fight for attention. Please follow her and let her know that I did love her so much and wanted her to always be with our family. Please watch over Sarah and Holly, and please keep watch over our friends and family. Thank you for everything we have been blessed with, and for all that is to come. Please put a smile in the hearts of the people I interviewed with and let them see how special I am.
In Your Loving and Giving Name.....Amen.

Choosing NOT to be blue

I woke up this morning very tired. The "people" upstairs made noise all night long....yes THAT kind of noise. @@ I don't know what's going on up there specifically, but I've got a pretty good idea. Either that or someone is getting A LOT of sex every night. (should I be jealous?? LOL)

I'm choosing NOT to let this get me down. No matter where we're headed, I know it'll be the best for us. I know this living situation isn't permanent, so I just need to suck it up for now. I know I'll get some calls this week....I've interviewed for enough jobs now that a call either way is coming. I hate the waiting and wondering. Even if it's a rejection, I at least want to know so I can stop worrying.

Walt starts his job tomorrow. He is excited....and he should be. And we all joked that I'd have a job first. Yeah, right!! I have an interview in the morning, so I'll be dropping him off at work. One less thing to worry about for now....next step is me getting a job and us getting out of this room.

I choose not to be sad....or upset. We headed in a positive direction......

Today's Prayer:
Dear Lord I thank you for this day, and for all the blessings you have brought into our lives. I am grateful for a place to live and food to eat, my husband, and all my friends who love me. Please watch over Holly and Sarah. Please bring answers to the job issues......I know you'll lead me to the right job.
In Your loving and Gracious Name....Amen.

things that make me smile today: Walt being excited and nervous about his new job; going to visit an old friend for her birthday and it being a huge surprise; my puppies; poptarts; football; love.

Just another Saturday night.....

We're sitting here in our little apartment/room watching old western movies. It's been a quiet day.

We took the dogs to the dog park, and literally wore them out. They are all crashed on the bed. it was fun....and nice to get out in the sunshine.

Walt starts his new job on Monday, and in the process, I go to an interview at yet another hotel. I don't know what chances I have of getting a job in the casino, but I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, thank you so much for the sunshine, for playful puppies, and for all you've blessed us with. Thank you for always being there to guide us through this new life. Please watch over our loved ones and friends......especially Holly and Sarah.
In You loving and guiding hands I pray....Amen.

Happy thoughts: sunshine, puppies, old westerns, love, this new life, my sweetie.

Interviews, week 2

This is the interview look for this week. Ok, so I basically wear the same dress to each interview (except the Banker's interview in which I didn't wear a "lucky" dress). I didn't think I was a superstitious person, but I guess I am.

Interview week 2....it's getting easier. I'm more diligent in my search, more confident during the interviews, and mindful of follow ups. There are two jobs I'd REALLY like to have, but so far, no calls. Its hard not to be discouraged, but I feel such a huge sense of responsibility to help Walt with money etc.

Tomorrow I have two interviews set up. One is at a hospital where I used to work many years ago. It's a parttime job, but it wouldn't be so bad and the pay is pretty good. Weekends. Hmm....not exactly what I wanted, but again, it's job. The second is doing something totally different than I've ever done. The pay and hours suck, but AGAIN, it's a job. I don't like to be the person that takes the first job that is offered and keep looking, but I know God has a plan for me. I'll take whatever path he is leading me.

I'm so proud of Walt and his search for a job. He's as dedicated to it as I am. We sit side by side applying for job after job. We WANT to work LOL I'm sure it's a novel idea to some people. We take so much for granted. We are down to no money, and both have been pinching pennies like crazy. (yay for payday tomorrow) We are good at pinching when necessary. We are such a good team, and we keep each other's spirit up when I know it gets hard.

Happy thoughts: calls, calls, calls; puppies who wake up happy; hearing my sweetheart tell me "I love you"; our own space; sunshine; living out our dream; interviews; God's ultimate plan coming together for us.

Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you SO much for putting the people in our lives who are going to find us to be the exact people they want to hire; thank you for enough food and shelter, and for helping us find a way to keep our dogs and cat all together with us....they enrich our lives so much; Thank you for the people in our lives that are cheering us on and for their prayers; please watch over all our loved ones and friends and keep a smile in their hearts; Thank you for the sunshine and for all we have been blessed to enjoy....In Your Loving and Giving Name....Amen.

Interviews

I've always had little problems interviewing. It probably comes from my lack of shyness in talking about myself and my accomplishments.

I had a couple of big interviews last week....still waiting to hear one way or another. Today, I have another big interview at a nursing home. It's not where I imagined myself, but as I've thought about it, how much stress can there be? The patients are elderly, and so friendly and easy to get along with.

I am hoping for some good news today. I need it....for sanity sake.

Today's prayer:
Dear Lord, I thank you for the opportunity to interview for a job today; I thank you for all our blessings, for having enough, and for keeping us all together. Please watch over all our loved ones and friends.....
In your Gracious Name....Amen.

Random

I'm feeling very random today. So many thoughts running through my head.....emotions are running a muck, and feeling a little anxious.

First of all, I am just so grateful to be here. Even though our living conditions are NOT what I would have wanted, it's such a blessing to be here, have our dogs and cat, and living the dream we've had for so long. I can handle the not-so-fancy hotel for as long as needed......I am pretty certain I wouldn't have been able to live without my pets. They've done such a great job with living in a much noisier place, limited space, and not having their own yard. HUGS my furry friends!!

I was very disappointed when I didn't get a single phone call on Friday. I had hyped myself up to the point that I was convinced someone would call. Id' had such a great interview on Wednesday, I was sure the gal would call. Ok, maybe she will call, but I needed the pick-me-up on Friday. So many job applications out there. Something has to give. I'm ready for anything!!

We went to the strip for the first time since arriving in Vegas. We met up with Roger and Debbie V. at Nathan's. We "blew" our $20 and it was time to go. Thankfully we got a great meal in the process. Who'd have thought we'd be satisfied with gambling ONLY $20 and leaving. I wasn't exactly satisfied, but reconciled myself to the idea that we just don't have the money to blow on the machines right now. We've got a lot going on!!

Walt's diligence in finding a job inspires me to keep going. I know he's anxious too. I have a really good feeling that something is going to happen for him very soon as well. Personally, I think he should connect with his old contacts. It couldn't hurt.

At least we've got a mini kitchen, and we have our Keurig coffee maker. Sure makes it seem more like OUR home with some of our things. Walt and I have been more connected, and I feel like I am contributing a lot more around the "house" than I have in a very long time. I just couldn't "feel" it.....now, I feel a part of something incredible. I'm happy to be here, and willing to do whatever it takes to make our new life easier/better. (shhh...I've even changed the cat box a couple of times)

It is beautiful outside this morning. It amazes me. Somehow the sunshine brightens everything....warms my heart. It's incredible.

I do miss our friends/family in WA though. Even though I didn't get to see people much after I quit work, it was the knowing they were close that made me feel safe. They are all far away. I miss the girls so much. I know moving here was the best thing, but the pangs of missing everyone happens every so often.

Today's Prayer:
Thank you Lord for all the blessings you have given us; thank You for our having enough food and shelter to keep us warm/cool; Please watch over all our loved ones and friends; Please guide the people who interviewed us to take a chance on us; Thank you for the sunshine, this incredible opportunity to live someplace new......
In your Loving and Giving Name.....Amen.

happy thoughts: sunshine, coffee in the morning, Walt, being in Vegas, seeing friends, puppy snuggles, being appreciated, love.

Talking about myself

Isn't that what interviews really are? An opportunity to talk about one's self?

This is an area that I don't have much difficulty. Being an extrovert and somewhat self absorbed certainly helps. It's never in an arrogant way......truth be known I don't have as much self confidence I let people think I do. But I am good at letting others "believe" that. While I do possess a great deal of self confidence in my work ability, it's the personal aspect of self confidence I have some lacking.

I'm getting the hang of the interview thing though....I've got three under my belt. One more today, and I think that's it for this week. I have another interview next week.....something is going to give....

Today's prayer: Thank you Lord for all the blessings you have given us.....Thank you for getting us here and keeping us safe......continue to watch over us as we try and find jobs.....Please keep watch over the girls and our loved ones.......Thank you Lord for the opportunity to interviews......may they see all the good we have to offer.......
In your Loving and Gracious name.....Amen.

We made it!

I've been such a bad blogger. We've been here two days, and I have been meaning to post a blog, but it's been go-go-go since we got here.

I've already been on two interviews.....heading to another in a little while. Tomorrow I have an interview. I am dead serious about this job search!!

The "hotel" where we are staying is well.....not a place I'd have chosen if I'd seen the rooms in advance. But we're here.....the dogs and cat get to stay with us, and it's clean. Hopefully it's just temporary. I'm praying so.

But I have to say I am SO happy to be here. The weather is BEAUTIFUL and pleasant. I'd gladly stay in this not-so-fancy hotel as long as we have to in order to just be here. I still feel like I'm on vacation though. It hasn't really sunk in that we're staying for good and this isn't a vacation.

Things that make me smile: Walt being here; the sunshine; people calling to interview; the pool; having my dogs and cat here; did I say the sunshine.....the sunshine; dressing up.

Today's prayer:
Dear Lord.....thank you for getting us to LV safely. Thank you for the blessing we have had since we've been here and for interviews. Please continue to watch over us as we settle in. Watch over our friends and family in WA.....and let them feel our love and missing them. Guide me as I go out into the world and try to find a job.....wherever I am meant to be.....please put me there.
In Your loving and gracious Name......Amen.

Panic!!

Ok, so I'm not in a panic at the moment, but I feel one coming on!! We are in the final countdown.

I can see the end of the packing and moving stuff around. One more trip to Goodwill, and we are junk free. (that in itself is amazing to me) We honestly didn't pack anything we weren't going to use or need. I'm proud of us.

We've come such a long way from "thinking" about moving, to actually doing it. It has been a year filled with precious memories, big decisions, and fulfilling dreams. 2010 will go down in history as a positive year.....

I feel so blessed.....by having such a supportive and loving husband, wonderful girls, friends who enrich my life.....knock on wood.....life is good!!

Today's prayer: Thank you Lord for all the blessings you have given me, my family and friends; I thank you for giving us the opportunity to see our dreams come true; I know you will see us safely to our new home and provide all we need; Please watch over our loved ones; please watch over Walt as he completes his last real day of work; see him safely home; bless those who are no longer with us;
In your Loving and Gracious name....Amen.

Stuff - Makeup type stuff

I packed my makeup, hair products, and other beauty essentials today. It was a little depressing since I can't just visualize all my wonderful beauty products. Isn't that a bit wierd??

But....I am ready for the road. I probably won't be doing makeup and hair while we're making the trek to Las Vegas. Why bother huh? I'll be sitting in the cab of a U-Haul truck for who-knows-how-many-hours. Although, I may just decide not to scare the world and put makeup on anyway.

I've got it all pretty much organized, so it shouldn't be hard to find something if I MUST use it. Once we get to our hotel/home, I can spread out a little more. I am praying with all my heart that our stay at the hotel will be a short one.

I may just have to do a video on "staying beautiful" on the road....well, maybe not "beautiful" but less scary LOL Poor Walt deserves to NOT have to ride with a scary lady....LOL

I'm excited I was able to organize all my stuff......it'll make life so much easier....and less stressful....

On to the next project......


accomplishments today: I woke up (LOL); packed makeup/hair stuff; finished packing the kitchen; packed the "closet"; cleaned the family room; packed the rest of my clothes; napped; smiled a lot......

Ah....

Can I just say ONE more time how much I hate packing? Me....the one who must be the coordinator, planner, and the one to packs for vacations WEEKS in advance.....is tired of planning, packing, and coordinating!

I shouldn't complain!! The means to the end of this is our new life in Las Vegas. We are embarking on a new adventure.....and it's filled with JOY! Why am I so miserable??

The goodbyes are hard. Some of them are permanent.....most are not. It's a matter of "see you later." I like that.....see you later.

We're piled high with boxes......tubs....containers and furniture. It looks like someone is moving...YAY!! All that's left is our clothes. Packing up the truck will be easy since we've organized things so well. (yay for the organizer LOL)

On another note, I am sad to leave my house. It's true that we've let it go at times, it's hard to live in. But selling it is hard. I'm ready for a new home. New decorations. New bed......it's all so exciting. Leaving my dad behind is a hard thought. I don't even know what to think about that. It's a physical place.....not really where he is. I hope I find comfort in that.


Happy thoughts: Greek Yogurt (yum); puppies; less to pack; tomatoes and avocado; daughters.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, I thank you for all my blessings; for the strength to pack and organize; I thank you for a loving husband and precious children; Please watch over all those we love and care about....hold them close; Please keep a close watch on Sarah and Holly since I won't be close enough to do it myself; Please bring Walter home safely from work.
In your Loving and Eternal name......Amen.

Dealing with Depression and other Issues

I am probably the poster child (poster woman,person) for dealing with depression and other issues. For most of my adult life - maybe even all of it - I have battled with depression and OCD type issues.

Why do I mention it now you ask? Not sure, but I sort of feel that maybe it's worth sharing so that maybe just I can help one person out there not feel alone or scared if they are dealing with similar issues.

I wasn't always a depressed person. I'm still not always depressed. I think my real depression began after my sister died. Handling things regarding my parents played a huge part in my depression. I was also in a very love-less marriage, even though I think we were friends. This contributed to my depression.

I never really dealt with the depression, but always found a way to hide it or mask how I was really feeling. Not healthy. It's not like I didn't have resources, because I did. I think I just didn't want to deal with it or even face the fact that I felt the way I did. At the time, I think I thought it was easier to fake it.

I battled with my weight, which again, contributed to my depression. I was unhappy with the way I looked and felt physically....which then translated into being depressed about it. Insecurity is an evil friend....no friend at all!!

Fast forward a few years.....my current marriage wasn't perfect (too many events to mention), my children (at least I felt this way) didn't appreciate me, still dealing with weight, and overcoming the grief of losing both my parents.....equals depression. It wasn't until my doctor and I got to talking that I realized I really was depressed. (this was about 4 years ago)

Today....I am happy. I find joy. I expect good things. I reward the world with my smile. I could go on and on. I have learned to let God handle things. Carrying the world on my shoulders is meaningless and doesn't bring the happiness I so desperately wanted into my life.

How do you ask did I achieve this. Ok, I'll have to admit that I do take daily medication for the depression. It's a chemical imbalance that inhibits ME from dealing with every day stresses or depressing things. But most importantly, I emotionally allow myself to feel what I do, and I don't ignore it. I talk if I have to, and I listen when I should. I surround myself with people who lift me up when I'm down, and center me when I need it.

Learning to trust people has been the hardest lesson of all for me. So many people have let me down in the past that I couldn't let my guard down. This can eat away at your heart, and make you miss out on the sunny things that happen in your life. I trust the circle of people in my life. While I firmly believe that trust is earned, I trust freely.

I know that God has placed me here for a reason.....for good.....to find happiness and to share His love with anyone and everyone. When I let it all go....it is whatever makes me sad or feel down......all the joy just comes to me. It's so easy...who knew?

I have good and bad days just like everyone else. But I let the sunshine in when it's grey.....cry when I need to......and embrace the world. There are silver linings.....

Believe in yourself.....follow your dreams......let people help you......share your gifts and blessings.....tell those you love often that they mean the world to you......do what makes you happy......

I guarantee that when things look bleek.....you'll see it in a totally different way.....when you allow it to roll off.....accept the negative but face it in a positive manner.

Let me know how it works out for you.....
Peace.

Last Week....

Well, we're down to just a few days. Instead of blogging, I should be packing and cleaning. At this point, its mostly cleaning things up. We got a lot accomplished over the weekend. Whew!!

Yesterday (Sunday) was very emotional. We went to church, and said goodbye to our church family. It was very hard. There are some of the congregation that were really important to us, and I will miss them terribly.

Sarah came over, and we went through my makeup, hair products and odds and ends. It was nice to have her here for more than just a few minutes. I can't imagine not seeing her for months on end. It scares me. I am really going to miss her.

Then we spent the evening cleaning and packing. I cannot believe how much stuff we have.....ack!

Today's prayer:
Dear Lord, thank you for another day to enjoy this life; thank you for a loving husband, and beautiful children; Please watch over all my friends and loved ones; please cover them with love and peace; may loving arms embrace our loved ones who have passed on.....please help me be motivated and get all my tasks completed this week.
In your loving and patient name.....Amen.

Happy thoughts: sleeping in; just a few days left here; a clean house; packing done; puppy love; faithful friends; my girls.

T Minus 7 Days.....and counting

I can't believe we've got 7 days until we hit the road. I am SO glad we got a good start on the packing, but I still feel like there's so much to do. Most of what's left is just clean up and odds and ends.

I am SO excited that we're so close to leaving. It's scary, but since getting a call for an interview, I am feeling MUCH more positive. God has a plan for me, and I am positive that there are only good things ahead.

And it's Friday which means I'll have two days with Walter......=)

List of things to do today: finish packing the kitchen and clothes; clean...ack!!; stalk the UPS man...a Mary Kay order should be delivered today; deliver previously mentioned MK products; Rant less....Rave more......and smile.

Today's Prayer (two days in a row....we're cookin')

Dear Lord, Thank you for this day and for waking up with a smile.....please watch over all those who are in my heart.....please give peace to those who may be hurting or sad.....thank you for my furry kids and for them sharing their happiness at being alive......help me stay focused and motivated today.......watch over Walt as he drives to work and make sure he arrives safely......thank you for all my blessings and for the wonderful people in my life.....
In your loving and gracious name......Amen.

Pets as an example

A very sweet person sent a short video of a dog praying. I am going to try and upload it so that it shows up on my blog. I found it endearing, and the best example of how our pets enrich our lives.

Through this small moment of prayer, the owner shared something beautiful with his beloved pet and thank our Lord for all his gifts. Amazing....inspiring.....made me cry a little....but nonetheless, gives me hope.

My prayer for today:
Lord, thank you for everything I have been given that brings beauty and joy to my life. Thank you for my family, my friends, and my furry kids. Please watch over all my loved ones, insuring they are safe and well. Please remember those that are no longer with us, and may they know you and see you. I pray for our world and for them to know your unending love. Please bring home my husband safely from work, and fill me with gratefulness and enthusiasm to continue working hard on this move.
In your loving and joyful name....Amen.

Finding Joy

I watched a vlog by a young woman today....I follow her and her "how to" makeup videos, and today's video didn't mention once about the outer beauty ideas. It had everything to do with inner beauty and joy.

This stranger touched me in such a meaningful way, I am still having difficulty find the words to express what I am feeling.

This week has not been good. With having to make the difficult decision to put Kleine to sleep, I have not had much to smile about. I have been sharing my frown instead of celebrating Kleine's life and sharing how she touched me forever. I've been complaining about packing, when I should be excited and more than happy to do it. This is afterall, the end of weeks of planning and the anticipation of a new adventure with Walter. There are SO many positives going on.

I've made so many sad choices this week that right this minute I am CHOOSING to be positive, upbeat, and joyful in what's happening in my life. There can only be good things ahead. There can only be more positive and happy moments ahead. I choose to accept this and allow this to be my reality.

I have been so blessed in my life. Yes, there are many moments of deep sadness in my life, but I have been blessed with a loving husband, family, and friends.

I choose to find joy in my moments.....be as happy as possible, and try hard to just roll with the punches. Life is much too short to be bogged down in the muck of everyday life.

Smiles today: coffee in bed; Walt's smile this morning; sleeping in; puppy love; enough food to eat; knitting; knowing my hard work around the house will lead to happiness; loving messages on Facebook; being closer to my dream.

How do they know?

I am surrounded by furry babies. Are they in tune with my grief? Dack is free to roam the house since he was always with Kleine due to her having to be separated from Katie. He's here, snuggled up next to me, snoring.

How do they know that their nearness comforts me? How do they know my heart hurts for Kleine and their closeness warms me? I believe our pets are far more in tune with our emotions that anyone might believe.

Its been years since my own children have sought comfort in my lap since they are grown and "too big for that." It's not the hugs, as those are plenty when we see them. It's the closeness. They find their own comfort as young women, and don't need the smothering love of Mom. Not in that way any way. But these dogs are my "children", and I am responsible for their care. They look to us for everything, but give us SO much more than we could ever give them. Food and shelter is just part of it. We do shower them with attention. What they give in return I cannot even find words to describe.

How sad is it that what I get from my pets outweighs what I "get" from my girls. It's normal for them to distance themselves from me and seek comfort and acceptance from their peers. I get that part. What my pets provide in the way of comfort and love is unmeasurable. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for my kids.....nothing. But I think the list of "what I wouldn't do for my pets" doesn't exist either. They are my friends. They are the listeners when no one else is here or able to listen. (or is simply ignoring me because I know I am a pain at times) They are my buddies.

When one of them is hurt or sick, I act....and take care of it. It was the same when Holly or Sarah needed something. Or what we do now. Drive across town and any time of the day to give one of them what they need. These furry friends don't "ask"for anything. They are appreciative of whatever we give, and their thankfulness shows on their faces.

I am obsessed with my pets. It's obvious to me, and I probably sound totally off my rocker. Hopefully it's what people find endearing about me. My compassion for animals......putting my loved ones always first, my devotion to friends. Its how I view myself to the world.

So here I sit surrounded by furry, snoring, snuggling friends. I am reminded of the hours of comfort they've given me during times of grief, sickness, sadness, or whenever I just needed a friend.

I FIRMLY believe our pets choose us (as I said in my blog about Kleine) I don't know how they do it or why, but they choose us. I picked Dack up at the pet store, and he licked my nose with his tiny little tongue. Immediately, I said "sold." It didn't matter how we'd pay for him, he was coming home with me. A done deal. Jager's picture captured my heart and there wasn't anything anyone was going to say or do to keep me from driving to Spokane to get him. That's exactly what we did. From a picture, he'd stolen my heart. Again, he was named before we ever "met" him. And Katie. I saw pictures of her and the living conditions (her cage etc) and I knew we had to adopt her. It was a done deal. I re-named her Ruby...as that's my nickname for her. I've worked with her to help with her issues of desertion and separation issues. The only thing that is bad about this dog is that she simply could not be around Kleine without wanting to rip her neck out. I don't get it.

They all chose me. I am their "momma"....and I am proud that these animals love me this way. They fill a void in me that has been left empty by my mature girls, missing family members, and the lack of friends being present. I'm the dog lady LOL Simply.

I couldn't find a picture of Dack. I know there is one on the external harddrive. I'll have to remember to post one soon.

Doggie notes: snoring; everyone loves treats; squeekie toys don't last long; No one loves the momma more; whatever you're eating, it looks good and you must share; pillows are meant to be shared; they are never so happy as when someone new comes home...even if they just went outside for a moment; they'll watch any on tv as long as you're there too; no makeup....no problem......

Heartbroken

Today my sweet dog Kleine went to wherever good dogs go when they die. She was happy, inspiring, and devoted. She was faithful and a joy.

I remember how she chose me when we went to the breeder's house. Her eyes were barely open, yet I could tell that when she looked at me, she saw me. She chose me. She was named before she was ever old enough to come home to live with us. I would visit her, so that we could bond. It was easy. She came at a time when my heart had just been broken after my dad passed away. She was the new life that would inspire me about good things and smiles.

She was always happy. She loved beanie babies....especially pigs. We'd search high and low for pig beanie babies just for her. She carried them like they were her babies. It was sweet, and yet another example of her kind heart.

In the last few years, she gained a lot of weight. I neglected her, a fact that will probably follow me for a very long time. I would talk to her and pet her, but she didn't get 100% of my devotion. We adopted Katie, and it didn't take 5 minutes before she knew Kleine was her enemy. In reality, Kleine couldn't care less if Katie got the attention or not. She just wanted to be close to everyone. When Katie attacked Kleine, it got bloody. That's when we began separating them. A huge separation.

I feel awful that I allowed this separation. This outsider came in to our home, and changed all the rules. I allowed that. This new dog had obviously been abused in some way, and had issues with being the center of attention. I felt bad. Kleine had been given a loving and perfect home, and Katie had not.

Making the decision to ease Kleine's tumor pain was not easy. In the big picture, Kleine not being here eases our concerns about moving, and how the hell we'd travel with two fighting dogs. I chose Katie in the end. I chose the abused dog. I chose the newcomer instead of the dog who chose me. While I know that it's humane to make such a decision when they cannot make it for themselves, I feel horrible, unloving, and a traitor.

She chose me, and let her go. She loved me always. And I let her go. Gone. Always. Fovever.

I fight the urge to hate Katie for the last two missed years with this happy forever gone dog. Yet I know it's crazy to blame her for the way her previous owners treated her or how she behaves.

My tears are many.....for myself.....my guilt....and for my Poopus.

Kleine memories: reaction to first immunizations and rushing to the vet; piggy picking; snuggling on cold mornings; road trips; runs on the beach; her first bath.....in the sink because she was so small; watching her run across the yard with her ears flapping in the wind; wearing her out on hikes; being there when she took her last breathe.

It's official....summer is over!!!

I'm not that sad though.....I do love this time of year. The leaves are changing colors....those deep orange and red colors that make the landscape appear purposely flecked with color.....FOOTBALL can only be played when it's cold and a hot cup of cocoa or coffee is in order.....Halloween candy appears in all the stores......and the weather is cold, crisp, and rainy......at least in the Pacific Northwest.

I do love this time of year! Baseball season is coming to a close, and that is somewhat bittersweet. It seems forever until Spring Training.....

It will seem wierd when we get to Las Vegas and there isn't the obvious color changes that indicate there is a change in seasons. Seattle is the longest place I've lived since I was a kid in So. California, and taking the greenness and obvious changing of the seasons for granted is easy to do. I know I will be miss it, and somewhere down the line with comment about it. I will, of course, get "that look" from Walt that indicates he's reminding me that "this is what you wanted."

It is what I want, but it is worth noting that I will miss the changing of the seasons. Nevada has very subtle changes, and the low temps will be the average temps we enjoy during the summer. (60's) However, the CONSTANT sunshine won't be a tough one to get used to. Feeling the sun on my face, even on crisp cold mornings, is amazing......and it doesn't happen all that often here. Not to rub it in, but it'll happen a whole lot more in Vegas, and I will be loving it.


favorite fall things: scarves; red and orange leaves; pumpkins; seeing my breathe in the air; hot lattes; hoodies; new seasons of our favorite tv shows begin; Oktoberfest; football games; World Series; caramel apples; sweatshirts

A new week!

My whole body still aches from the bowling the other night. How out of shape does one person have to be LOL Ouch!

Looking around the house, it looks emptier every day. It becomes more real that we will actually be leaving soon. I an only imagine how wonderful it's going to be living where it's warmer most of the time, sunny, and relaxing.

I've put in several applications. I'm hoping for lots of phone calls. I am sure something great is going to happen.


things that amaze me today: Drew Carey's weight loss; how good coffee tastes; how late I slept

Profound Memory

Walt and were so excited to have gone bowling last night. It had truly benn 5 or more years since we last went with our church's youth group. Of course it was for charity,and no on was really playing to win.

We had two other couples there, and it did turn into a competition. Which is fine. We're all decent bowlers, so it wasn't one sided at all.

The memories we created we so wonderful.......

fast forward to this afternoon and I had mentioned going bowling once or twi a month once we get settled in Vegas as something different to do than gambling or eating. Great idea he says. And then I had a vision, memory,epiphany....whatever you want to call it. I strongly remember Walt bowling outside work and learning later on that "she" went as well. It was his way of meeting up with her at a legitimate place. He got defensive when I "remembered" it, but didn't remember it to cause a fight. It hit him,and I was surprised. Now we're not talking.

I don't really care what he did before. It's of no importance to what we're going to be doing and all the new memories, and traditions we'll be creating once we get to Las Vegas.

It was just note worthy....since I'm feeling kind of guilty for bringing it up, and sad that I have such a horrible memory.

hopefully it'll just pass.....

Bowling, Boobs, and Booze

Walt's going away party couldn't have gone better. It was a wonderful representation of the people that love and care about Walt. We have so much fun laughing, bowling, and reminiscing.

Walt and Terry

Me and Cat

Laurie throwing a strike!

We bowled, had beverages, and there were lots of boobies everywhere. Good times.

The score!!! Look who's ahead!

Walt and a Hooters Girl

All in all, I'd say everyone had a good time. Everyone had the opportunity to say a little goodbye to Walt via video. It was very sweet.....

Highlights: Throwing a strike and it actually being on video; good food; amazing friends; more laughs than one could count; good old fashioned competition; tears; Black Jack drinks; BOOBS everywhere; bowling in the dark;

50 books in 1 year

I am embarking on a personal challenge. I am going to read 50 books in a year's time. The year will begin on October 1, 2010 since until then, I won't have a lot of time to devote to simply sitting and reading. After that, we'll have a long road trip, and transition to our new home in Las Vegas.

I will blog the name of the finished book, and a review of what I think of the book.

Reading is Fundamental....that's what I learned as a child, and I have always enjoyed reading. This is the biggest challenge I've made for myself in a long time, and I am excited about it.

Here's to reading!!!

Finally Friday!

Not that Friday feels any different than any other day of the week when you're unemployed. The only difference is that I know I'll have two days with Walt before he heads back to work on Monday.

Busy weekend ahead. Not only are we continuing our packing, Walt's going away party is tomorrow evening at Hooters. It's a bowling alley as well, so it'll be Bowling, Booze AND Boobs. Sounds like a fun going away party. Hopefully lots of people will show up!!

On Sunday we're going to the Puyallup Fair with Holly. It has literally been years since we've been to the fair. I am looking forward to spending some time with Holly, and having a good time at the fair.

Lots to get done.....time is ticking away.

positives today: morning coffee; end of the week; more boxes packed; puppy kisses; loving husband; cooler weather; weekend is ahead.

hearing TAPS

It always makes me cry. I know that all military installations play it at bedtime, but it's the playing at funerals that tears my heart out.

When I was a kid, hearing TAPS off in the distance (we lived near a military base) was comforting. It's peaceful and meant to help one drift off to sleep. It's calming, and always sounded so angelic off in the distance.

The first military funeral I attended was when I was in high school. A former schoolmate was killed in a car accident while serving in the Army. She had a seven gun salute, and the TAPS completely made me fall apart. Every time I heard it after that, it meant something different to me. It meant forever sleep, albet peaceful as it still sounded.

At my father's military funeral, he had a three gun salute (for being a veteran and not an active duty serviceman), and then they played TAPS. I was fine until then. I know how deeply my Dad felt about his service to our country and his patriotism. TAPS was a honor to him, his service, and once again a reminder that forever sleep.

I'll never be able to hear it without the tears. Losing someone so close and associating the playing of TAPS to the grieving process, just brings it all back to the fore front on my heart. I miss him every day, but these reminders will probably always affect me this way.


.....Daddy, I miss you.....every day......I see you on the football fields, in the slot machines, when I see "In and Out" burger signs, in the faces of my daughters, at SAFCO field, during cooking shows.....you're everywhere.....thank you so much for being my Dad and my friend......I love you....


Happy thoughts today: My Dad; getting more boxes packed; MK orders; coffee; Facebook conversations with Holly; healthy hair; bananas; puppy snuggles.

It's the 15th.....so?

I'm just saying. It's the 15th of September already! Holy cow. Where has September gone? We're down to the wire of when we'll be moving and I have 1/2 the house to pack. Girl, you need to get busy.

I am excited about moving. Change always seems to rejuvenate me. There's so much that's going to be happening in the near future. YIKES! We've got almost everything in place, and that's comforting. I have to be organized. It will make me nuts if things aren't planned or at least we have a plan.

It's exciting. Nerve racking, but exciting. There's so much ahead for us......I just know Walt is going to find a job in the next few weeks. He's so motivated, and I am so proud of him.

Things I could blog about but won't:

1. It's mid-September and I am still using the fan at night
2. Hair, need or not need?
3. Packing - who suggested this huge move? And did I agree to it? LOL
4. Showering if you're not going anywhere. Pro or Con....
5. And if you shower, do you put on clean clothes from the day before?
6. How can two people have so much crap?
7. To downsize or not to downsize...that is the question.
8. Daytime tv - who do I need to talk to about that?
9. I love this time of year -
10. Friends.....can't live without them
11. Daughters.....gray hair creators
12. Sunshine on a daily basis -
13. Reality tv - my new addiction
14. Have we fallen off the WW wagon?
15. Motivation - very over rated.

Hair...and lots of it

I'm not sure what possessed me to buy it, but I bought a wig. I am eager to have this length of hair, and hair extensions are very expensive and a lot of work. So I guess this seemed like the least worrisome and work.

It's probably been 40 years since I had this long of hair. My mom chopped off my long hair when I was in the 2nd grade. Don't we all want what we don't have? Besides, isn't it fun to sort of look different sometimes?

So it would seem.....on top of the weight loss and new makeup....I needed hair too. Jury is still out on what I think. I emailed pictures to my friend S to see what she thinks.....I know I'll get an honest assessment and opinion from her....

It's a new day....new do! Moving is coming along. We have just a little over two weeks until we leave for Vegas. Wow!!!

happy thoughts: dinner out with Walt (food is good); long hair....even if it's temporary; payday; sunshine; puppies; UPS deliveries; Walt; and thoughtful friends.

It's Monday Again...

I'm still exhausted from the weekend. How sad is that? I slept almost the entire day away yesterday, and I'm still tired.

And here it is Monday again, and it's time to get busy. There's not a whole lot left in the house to be packed. The last part of it will be clean up, and I dread that the most. Not because it's dirty....but because I just don't like cleaning. That's awful. LOL Cleaning is something I avoid if I have to, and thank goodness Walt doesn't mind cleaning. Since I've been home, it's been up to me to clean....which is fine. I don't have the excuse of working full time....etc......LOL I just don't like cleaning. But it has to be done....=)

Then I watch the show "Hoarders" and I feel the urge to get up and clean....ack!! I know we couldn't be anywhere near the problems those people have, but it scares the hell out of me. It can easily happy.

Moving on....

Going to dinner tonight to a delightful woman's house that we used to work with. We are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives. She wanted to cook us dinner before we moved away. Isn't that special? I just feel so honored as I am sure she doesn't socialize with many of the people she left behind at HP. I'm really looking forward to it....

It's shower time....btw, I am still loving the WEN haircare products....my hair has never felt or looked better....

today's joys: coffee (thanks Walt); no tennis on tv; dinner out with special people; puppy love; pretty makeup to put on; breeze coming in the window; special emails; love of family....

Concert...and getting old

I found myself watching the crowds yesterday while we were at the Brad Paisley, Darius Rucker and others concert. I watch people in general. But when put in a position of watching crowds of people, I absolutely love it.

I did realize one thing though. I'm over the hill. Oh, I can still have fun with the best of them, and I'm a pretty hip 46 year old. But the days of making an ass of myself, embarrassing everyone around me, and more than likely making my parents ashamed of me are over.

After we made it into the concert area, and found our place on the grass, the watching really began. I know I am not alone in my people watching, because Walt notices just as many "oddities" as I do. It wasn't just the people that were different than intrigued me. It was the younger people who had absolutely no regard for where they were, how they were acting, and how annoying they were.

I LOVE friendly people. You know, those people that are sitting with you on line, or end up sitting next to you. Striking up a conversation is wonderful, and helps make the time go by quickly. Not everyone who strikes up a conversation is a great thing......i.e. the drunk woman that sat down next to us on the lawn for the concert and was obviously intoxicated. Ok, I'm alright with that. But everything that happened after she "introduced" herself embarrassed herself and made me grateful I'm not a falling down drunk. Her beer spilled and went all over her ass.....soaked. She proceeded to cuss out every person that went by.....all the while we knew it was her own drunkenness that caused it.

Then as the concert started, people were pretty much packed in together. This in itself caused problems because we weren't 20somethings and we'd long since enjoyed a beer. These "young people" proceeded to get louder, more drunk, and annoying. They were falling down, spilling beer everywhere, and I think (although I didn't really look too closely) had sex right there. At one point this drunk couple fell on top of our belongings and that's when I lost it. I don't yell at strangers on a regular basis, but I snapped into grown-up mode.

Of course no one thought twice about this mean old lady yelling at them since they all wished it had been them you yelled. When did I become that woman....? The person that yells at idiots who are being idiots? I paid good money to watch this concert, and I wasn't about to allow some drunken people ruin it for me. So I yelled. Besides, my camera was there....they could have broken it. Now that would have pissed me off.

I think I become more like my father every day. I worry less about what other people think of me....especially strangers, and worry about about ME and what I'm doing. Oh, I'm polite and chatty with like minded people, but as for the people who show their asses and act re tarted, I have little or not tolerance. Certainly have moved into a new phase of life.

That's not to say that when the nice young man sitting next to Walter leaned over and asked if he smoked grass would it bother us. Nah....that doesn't bother us. What's the worst than can happen. That is a part of being a younger concert going that I remember fondly. Its really harmless....and it's not like we were really going to get a contact high. However, you never forget the smell....not as long as you live.

Be danced and sang along with the music and had the most fantastic time. We'd seen Brad Paisley in the late 90's play on the Fremont Street Experience and was a relative nobody. He was good then. Then we saw Darius Rucker in 2009 on our anniversary in a much smaller venue. We were not disappointed.......the Gorge was magnificent and the weather amazing.'

So the state of my age and aggravation was far less important than the amount of jun I had.

I just want to know when it was that i crassed over to th dark side. The opinionated, set in their ways, leave me along, and grown sect of people? You know my parents. When ha DOT happend. Me of so little faith that I can tolerate the behaviors of a generation of young people that think we own them aything. We did out party. Get out there an get it your self. you'll appreciate it a lot more.

So here's to you young people people who think drunkenness is attractive, and the the less you wear gives you a better chance of hooking u-p wtih someone that that will no dobut faith to develope into a meaningful relationship. Grow up.....yet in time, most wiil....in their own time.

An hopefully won't come across concert tickets of my own girls......acck!!!

happy thoughts from our short trip: being with Walt; chatting about whatever and nothing; laughing at his jokes; being close to him in crowds;him making me feel safe and watched over; lets me just be mel......and can't find the car at the end of the concernte. One of us isn't directionally chanlenged at least.