Nothing without friends

I just can't imagine getting through this last month without my friends. Not only do I feel a connection to a faraway place, their constant support of me is appreciated and amazing.

I've had highs and lows over the last few weeks. Having to give up Katie really set me back. I still miss her, but have resigned myself to her being better off, I'm better too.

The job hunt continues. The encouragement that I've received from my friends has helped me stay focused and positive. It's hard sometimes. I just want to have a place to go and interact with real people. I'm bored and that's never good.

Dear Lord, thank you for all my wonderful friends, for their love and support; thank you for all the blessings we've received and that will come our way; please watch over loved ones and friends as they start their day; please watch over Walt as he works for us and guide him safely home; please guide prospective employers to see all the good I have to offer.....
In Your loving Name....Amen.

Making my own Opportunities

It's Monday, again. Today we've been here three weeks. I was so sure that I'd have a job that first week. Seems like an eternity ago.

But this morning I feel confident. Maybe it's the phone interview I had with a large healthcare company this morning. All that "talking about myself and my accomplishments". I'd be a valued employee no matter where I end up. I just don't know how not to succeed professionally. (it's the personally that I have issues with LOL) I'm feeling full of myself. I guess that's what I need, right? More positive, less negative.

I continue to apply for jobs. It's become my "job." Walt heads off to work, and I scour the internet for job opportunities. Wish it paid....I'd be rich.

I KNOW something is going to happen soon. I can feel it. I'm not asking for the world, just a good job in which I can excel and succeed. Not asking for much.

Dear Lord, thank you for the time Walt and I spent together this last weekend; thank you for all the blessings and for the gifts we have; please watch over our friends and family, and let them know in their hearts how much they mean to us; Watch over Walt as he is at work and driving through town; I have faith that you'll guide me into the right job;
In Your Loving and Giving Hands I Pray.....Amen.

Happiness means to me: puppy kisses in the morning; another beautiful day; Love from my best friend and husband; having friends; coffee that tastes so darn good; gifts to be grateful for.

Old Movies, Lazy Days, Staying positive

It's a beautiful Sunday in the desert. I love that it's sunny.....it has been sunny much of the time we've been here. Except for a few days of heavy rain, and some lightening and thunder. I love that type of weather.

The job search continues. I've gotten so good at filling out applications, I know all the information by heart. Something positive is going to happen soon.

We've been watching old movies all morning. Who'd have thought I'd get Walt to watch A Streetcar Named Desire......all the way through LOL He hasn't even tried to switch to a football game. I know that's coming soon.

Dear Lord, thank you for all the blessings you've given us. Thank you for this beautiful day. Please watch over all our loved ones and friends. Keep Holly and Sarah close and safe. Please help someone to see what a great employee I'll be.
In Your Loving and Gracious Name....Amen.

Happy things: coffee, puppies, sunny days, Walt, old movies, love.

Not so alone....

I had a wonderful conversation with my cousin Margaret. It's good to know that I do in fact have family out there.....a bit of a distant relative, but at least she cares enough to contact to me. I'm not so alone....and it's a good feeling.

Hidden blessings are wonderful.....finding those blessings is so beautiful. I hope that something good comes of it. She needs family too. Having our parents gone makes one feel awfully alone. She's got siblings, but I'm not sure how good they are to her.

Just wanted to acknowledge this new blessing.....saying it out loud makes it real.

Thank you Lord for family and good people who just want to be in your life "because".....not because they feel obligated or aren't sincere.

Amen.....

Finding a Rainbow

When I went to pick up Walt from work, it started to rain. It doesn't "rain" here....it pours!! So after the rain shower, there was this beautiful rainbow. A wonderful reminder that through the ugliness of whats raining, a beautiful rainbow can shine through.

I was reminded that I need to find my rainbow. I've been feeling very depressed lately and very discouraged about not receiving a call for a job. I need to remember that at the end of the showers of interviews (nice metaphor huh?), my rainbow will shine through. I need to stay positive and remain faithful that the right job is going to come along. I needn't worry about things. Walt has things under control. He's been so wonderful about everything. And OH SO supportive. Not sure what I'd do without him.

I'm happy to be here.....and grateful that we've been able to fulfill this dream. Keep the faith Becky.....it's all going to work out.

Dear Lord, thank you for the beauty of rainbows, refreshing rain, and for all the blessings you have given us. Thank you for food to eat, a dry place to live, and for all the love of our friends and family. Please watch over Walt as he is out there working for our family. Please watch over our girls, friends and family. Thank you for puppy love, and please help Katie find a good home.

In Your Loving and Faithful Name.....Amen.

Things that make me smile: a good night's sleep; puppies; old movies; coffee that makes everything smell like morning; job prospects.

Closure

I drove to the shelter where Katie is. I asked if she was still there. They brought her out, and she didn't seem all that excited but acted as though she knew me. They wanted $35 for me to take her home. $35 we didn't have at the time. I stood there and cried. They wouldn't release her to me without the fee.

So I left. Called Walt and talked to him. He, of course, thinks I'm completely out of my mind....but understands why I miss this dog. I call the shelter and speak to someone. She says that Katie will be there until she's adopted. They do not kill the animals there. The chances of her being adopted are very good. She's young, active, and beautiful. So that's when I made the final decision. She deserves a different home where she can be the only princess and doesn't have to feel bossy and aggressive around other dogs.

I am letting go. Finally....I think. I have to. It IS the best thing for this family, and ultimately, for her. She seemed happy.....and cared for. That's all I could ever ask. She'll make someone a wonderful friend and they'll appreciate her wacky sense of humor, barking at nothing and doorbells on the tv, and her need to be the only one.

I'm still so sad, but happy that she'll not be put to sleep. It's the closure I needed to SEE and FEEL.

Thank you Lord for this blessing of peace and knowing that Katie will be cared for and loved; thank you for all the blessings we have and will be coming our way; please help prospective employers to see that I am THE ONE for the job and it's meant to be; watch over my girls, our friends, and our furry friends here; thank you for Walt's job and his happiness....in your Loving and Giving Name....Amen.

Things that have made me smile so far today: the SUNSHINE (I'm so predictable); Carmel iced lattes; puppy happiness in the morning; pretty hair; a job interview; wonderful and supportive friends.....

Living with choices.....

I love this picture of my boys. I couldn't ask for more loving and sweet dogs. In light of the decision we had to make earlier this week, finding happiness and joy in the boys' faces has helped me. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to either of them. Recenting an animal is not healthy, and that's what would have happened.

Today I have an interview at another casino. I'm speaking to them about several customer service jobs. I really want to find something, get out there, feel like I am contributing, and hopefully find a place to live. That would be wonderful.

Our friend Shirley's landlord has another has that will be available in a couple of weeks which is perfect for us. Two story house....close to her. Summerlin again. Would be so nice.

I still have to pinch myself that we are really here. It's such a beautiful thing.

Lord, please continue to bless us with all the joys and happiness that we have been receiving; thank you for our health and goodwill; please watch over my girls, and our friends; please bring someone loving to adopt Katie; please show my perspective employers that I am worth the chance and opportunity....in Your loving and Gracious Name.....Amen.

Life without Katie

I'm miserable, and it is all I can do not to go and get the dog back. Why? She's a tough dog, barks a lot, bites, and has no manners......why? Because I love her.

I miss her so much. I hate that we had to take her to the shelter. I hate that we had to make that choice. We really didn't have another choice. We'd tried everything. EVERYTHING. Then when Kleine was gone, she seemed ok with Dack. Her attacking him surprised us....even shocked us. But we'd made a vow that if she ever attacked the boys, that was it. She was gone.

But that doesn't diminish my sadness or longing for her. I think about her there. I think about her wondering if we're coming back.....where are they? They are my people......why am I here.

Torturing myself......

Dear God, please watch over Katie and help her find a new family. Please let them love her as much as I do....and care for her.....please watch over her......please watch over my girls......please have one of these people I've interviewed with call me and take a chance on me....
In Your caring and loving arms I send this prayer.......Amen.

Here we are again....

I am just heartbroken. Katie attacked Dack last night, and wouldn't let go. Dack was so scared and freaked out, and I know he was in pain. (no blood thankfully)

We had to separate the dogs all night, which meant no one got any sleep. Today is Walt's first day at work, and this is the LAST thing he needs to deal with. We decided that if Katie went after Dack again, that was it....the decision was made. And she did.

My heart hurts, and I know I am going to miss her. We have done everything we can to help re-train this dog to be loving and not aggressive. We have loved her and brought her with us to Las Vegas in hopes that what happened before would never happen again. And it did. And it hurts like hell. I don't like the idea of having to take this dog, who I have loved, to the pound and never knowing what happens to her. We don't have a choice. We can't advertise and we can't find a home. It's not like they can all live together until that day comes. She's aggressive and mean now.

I don't understand why I've had to let go of so many things lately.....and I feel sort of picked on. I feel as though I've rolled with all the punches that have come my way.....and accepted that this is God's path and plan for me. But right now, I don't feel as though this is the way it was meant to be. I'm sick.

Yet, I have to accept this, and love my boys with all my heart. It's just them now. We've dwindled down the number of pets from who knows how many to 3. I love Walt so much that he is willing to do the hard stuff this time. I just can't. I just wish it had happened on a day when he wasn't starting a brand new job.

I can't stop crying, and this affects everyone around me. But I can't handle the sound of dogs fighting and the sight of one of them hurting the other. It breaks my heart.

Today's Prayer:
Dear Lord please forgive us for not being able to handle Katie's aggressiveness. Please help the shelter find her a home where she can get all the love she wants and she doesn't have to fight for attention. Please follow her and let her know that I did love her so much and wanted her to always be with our family. Please watch over Sarah and Holly, and please keep watch over our friends and family. Thank you for everything we have been blessed with, and for all that is to come. Please put a smile in the hearts of the people I interviewed with and let them see how special I am.
In Your Loving and Giving Name.....Amen.

Choosing NOT to be blue

I woke up this morning very tired. The "people" upstairs made noise all night long....yes THAT kind of noise. @@ I don't know what's going on up there specifically, but I've got a pretty good idea. Either that or someone is getting A LOT of sex every night. (should I be jealous?? LOL)

I'm choosing NOT to let this get me down. No matter where we're headed, I know it'll be the best for us. I know this living situation isn't permanent, so I just need to suck it up for now. I know I'll get some calls this week....I've interviewed for enough jobs now that a call either way is coming. I hate the waiting and wondering. Even if it's a rejection, I at least want to know so I can stop worrying.

Walt starts his job tomorrow. He is excited....and he should be. And we all joked that I'd have a job first. Yeah, right!! I have an interview in the morning, so I'll be dropping him off at work. One less thing to worry about for now....next step is me getting a job and us getting out of this room.

I choose not to be sad....or upset. We headed in a positive direction......

Today's Prayer:
Dear Lord I thank you for this day, and for all the blessings you have brought into our lives. I am grateful for a place to live and food to eat, my husband, and all my friends who love me. Please watch over Holly and Sarah. Please bring answers to the job issues......I know you'll lead me to the right job.
In Your loving and Gracious Name....Amen.

things that make me smile today: Walt being excited and nervous about his new job; going to visit an old friend for her birthday and it being a huge surprise; my puppies; poptarts; football; love.

Just another Saturday night.....

We're sitting here in our little apartment/room watching old western movies. It's been a quiet day.

We took the dogs to the dog park, and literally wore them out. They are all crashed on the bed. it was fun....and nice to get out in the sunshine.

Walt starts his new job on Monday, and in the process, I go to an interview at yet another hotel. I don't know what chances I have of getting a job in the casino, but I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Today's Prayer:
Lord, thank you so much for the sunshine, for playful puppies, and for all you've blessed us with. Thank you for always being there to guide us through this new life. Please watch over our loved ones and friends......especially Holly and Sarah.
In You loving and guiding hands I pray....Amen.

Happy thoughts: sunshine, puppies, old westerns, love, this new life, my sweetie.

Interviews, week 2

This is the interview look for this week. Ok, so I basically wear the same dress to each interview (except the Banker's interview in which I didn't wear a "lucky" dress). I didn't think I was a superstitious person, but I guess I am.

Interview week 2....it's getting easier. I'm more diligent in my search, more confident during the interviews, and mindful of follow ups. There are two jobs I'd REALLY like to have, but so far, no calls. Its hard not to be discouraged, but I feel such a huge sense of responsibility to help Walt with money etc.

Tomorrow I have two interviews set up. One is at a hospital where I used to work many years ago. It's a parttime job, but it wouldn't be so bad and the pay is pretty good. Weekends. Hmm....not exactly what I wanted, but again, it's job. The second is doing something totally different than I've ever done. The pay and hours suck, but AGAIN, it's a job. I don't like to be the person that takes the first job that is offered and keep looking, but I know God has a plan for me. I'll take whatever path he is leading me.

I'm so proud of Walt and his search for a job. He's as dedicated to it as I am. We sit side by side applying for job after job. We WANT to work LOL I'm sure it's a novel idea to some people. We take so much for granted. We are down to no money, and both have been pinching pennies like crazy. (yay for payday tomorrow) We are good at pinching when necessary. We are such a good team, and we keep each other's spirit up when I know it gets hard.

Happy thoughts: calls, calls, calls; puppies who wake up happy; hearing my sweetheart tell me "I love you"; our own space; sunshine; living out our dream; interviews; God's ultimate plan coming together for us.

Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you SO much for putting the people in our lives who are going to find us to be the exact people they want to hire; thank you for enough food and shelter, and for helping us find a way to keep our dogs and cat all together with us....they enrich our lives so much; Thank you for the people in our lives that are cheering us on and for their prayers; please watch over all our loved ones and friends and keep a smile in their hearts; Thank you for the sunshine and for all we have been blessed to enjoy....In Your Loving and Giving Name....Amen.

Interviews

I've always had little problems interviewing. It probably comes from my lack of shyness in talking about myself and my accomplishments.

I had a couple of big interviews last week....still waiting to hear one way or another. Today, I have another big interview at a nursing home. It's not where I imagined myself, but as I've thought about it, how much stress can there be? The patients are elderly, and so friendly and easy to get along with.

I am hoping for some good news today. I need it....for sanity sake.

Today's prayer:
Dear Lord, I thank you for the opportunity to interview for a job today; I thank you for all our blessings, for having enough, and for keeping us all together. Please watch over all our loved ones and friends.....
In your Gracious Name....Amen.

Random

I'm feeling very random today. So many thoughts running through my head.....emotions are running a muck, and feeling a little anxious.

First of all, I am just so grateful to be here. Even though our living conditions are NOT what I would have wanted, it's such a blessing to be here, have our dogs and cat, and living the dream we've had for so long. I can handle the not-so-fancy hotel for as long as needed......I am pretty certain I wouldn't have been able to live without my pets. They've done such a great job with living in a much noisier place, limited space, and not having their own yard. HUGS my furry friends!!

I was very disappointed when I didn't get a single phone call on Friday. I had hyped myself up to the point that I was convinced someone would call. Id' had such a great interview on Wednesday, I was sure the gal would call. Ok, maybe she will call, but I needed the pick-me-up on Friday. So many job applications out there. Something has to give. I'm ready for anything!!

We went to the strip for the first time since arriving in Vegas. We met up with Roger and Debbie V. at Nathan's. We "blew" our $20 and it was time to go. Thankfully we got a great meal in the process. Who'd have thought we'd be satisfied with gambling ONLY $20 and leaving. I wasn't exactly satisfied, but reconciled myself to the idea that we just don't have the money to blow on the machines right now. We've got a lot going on!!

Walt's diligence in finding a job inspires me to keep going. I know he's anxious too. I have a really good feeling that something is going to happen for him very soon as well. Personally, I think he should connect with his old contacts. It couldn't hurt.

At least we've got a mini kitchen, and we have our Keurig coffee maker. Sure makes it seem more like OUR home with some of our things. Walt and I have been more connected, and I feel like I am contributing a lot more around the "house" than I have in a very long time. I just couldn't "feel" it.....now, I feel a part of something incredible. I'm happy to be here, and willing to do whatever it takes to make our new life easier/better. (shhh...I've even changed the cat box a couple of times)

It is beautiful outside this morning. It amazes me. Somehow the sunshine brightens everything....warms my heart. It's incredible.

I do miss our friends/family in WA though. Even though I didn't get to see people much after I quit work, it was the knowing they were close that made me feel safe. They are all far away. I miss the girls so much. I know moving here was the best thing, but the pangs of missing everyone happens every so often.

Today's Prayer:
Thank you Lord for all the blessings you have given us; thank You for our having enough food and shelter to keep us warm/cool; Please watch over all our loved ones and friends; Please guide the people who interviewed us to take a chance on us; Thank you for the sunshine, this incredible opportunity to live someplace new......
In your Loving and Giving Name.....Amen.

happy thoughts: sunshine, coffee in the morning, Walt, being in Vegas, seeing friends, puppy snuggles, being appreciated, love.

Talking about myself

Isn't that what interviews really are? An opportunity to talk about one's self?

This is an area that I don't have much difficulty. Being an extrovert and somewhat self absorbed certainly helps. It's never in an arrogant way......truth be known I don't have as much self confidence I let people think I do. But I am good at letting others "believe" that. While I do possess a great deal of self confidence in my work ability, it's the personal aspect of self confidence I have some lacking.

I'm getting the hang of the interview thing though....I've got three under my belt. One more today, and I think that's it for this week. I have another interview next week.....something is going to give....

Today's prayer: Thank you Lord for all the blessings you have given us.....Thank you for getting us here and keeping us safe......continue to watch over us as we try and find jobs.....Please keep watch over the girls and our loved ones.......Thank you Lord for the opportunity to interviews......may they see all the good we have to offer.......
In your Loving and Gracious name.....Amen.

We made it!

I've been such a bad blogger. We've been here two days, and I have been meaning to post a blog, but it's been go-go-go since we got here.

I've already been on two interviews.....heading to another in a little while. Tomorrow I have an interview. I am dead serious about this job search!!

The "hotel" where we are staying is well.....not a place I'd have chosen if I'd seen the rooms in advance. But we're here.....the dogs and cat get to stay with us, and it's clean. Hopefully it's just temporary. I'm praying so.

But I have to say I am SO happy to be here. The weather is BEAUTIFUL and pleasant. I'd gladly stay in this not-so-fancy hotel as long as we have to in order to just be here. I still feel like I'm on vacation though. It hasn't really sunk in that we're staying for good and this isn't a vacation.

Things that make me smile: Walt being here; the sunshine; people calling to interview; the pool; having my dogs and cat here; did I say the sunshine.....the sunshine; dressing up.

Today's prayer:
Dear Lord.....thank you for getting us to LV safely. Thank you for the blessing we have had since we've been here and for interviews. Please continue to watch over us as we settle in. Watch over our friends and family in WA.....and let them feel our love and missing them. Guide me as I go out into the world and try to find a job.....wherever I am meant to be.....please put me there.
In Your loving and gracious Name......Amen.