New Year

It's hard to believe that 2o1o is almost over. Its been a busy and active year, to say the least. I've already given my "the best events of 2010" in a previous post.....so I won't go there again. But it's worth noting that with all the ups, we've had to weather the downs. For that, I am proud of us.

Love allows us to do and say all sorts of things. Imaging what "could" be, or relishing in what "is". Sometimes love just sucks.

I've had moments of deepst love for Walt this last year....so deep I thought I'd drown from the lovliness of it. The day we renewed our vows was one of those days. It was beautiful, meaningful, and so special. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I loved and trusted this man more than anyone could imagine. The proceeding honeymoon only deepened those feelings. We had such a wonderful time.

The move was stressful but exciting. It was crazy to think we'd actually fulfilled our dream of moving back to Las Vegas. The years we'd spent rebuilding, forgiving, and working on a healthy life together only to come back to where our darkest days had been spent. It was momentus, and incredible.

On December 8th I learned that my husband hadn't been completely honest with me. He'd had who knew how many women he was secretly talking to. Not just recently, but for years. It devistated me. Crushed what I'd grown to believe. Sickened by the fact that he dared risk our marriage yet again.

So as I watch the new year approach, I do so with hesitancy and fear of what is to be. He's supposed to get "help", but the way I feel, it's going to take a lot more than "help" to fix what's wrong with us.

Ending the year on such a sour note sucks. I have hope for happiness again.....I pray for it.

Christmas 2010 has come and gone. It's hard to believe that the year is coming to a close.

It's been such an eventful year, it's hard to pinpoint just one magical moment. With the beauty of the year, there has been darkness too.

Our vow renewal and honeymoon in May was as wonderful as one could imagine. Feeling of genuine love and appreciation was the best gift of all.

Quitting our jobs and moving to Las Vegas was an adventure. Searching for work and living in the "motel" was humbling and character building. Thankfully we both got good jobs, and found this lovely house to rent!! God is definitely watching over us.

The one bump we've had this year was the whole expired tab debacal and finding out that Walt has been keeping secrets. It breaks my heart to think that all the happiness and dreams I'd once again believed in was fake and not what I thought.

I pray the new year brings answers and healing......I don't know what to expect or where to put m faith anymore within this marriage.

Dear Lord, thank you for all the blessings and joy this last year has brought to our lives. Please keep watch over all those we hold dear, and I pray for those that are disconnected from our lives. Thank you for bringing us here, for this wonderful home, and for the hope of the new year.
In your loving and gracious Name.....Amen.

Year highlights: Saints win the SuperBowl; vow renewal, honeymoon in Vegas, and seeing the sunrise over the Grand Canyon; summer in Seattle; quitting my job and packing up our house; the exciting drive to Las Vegas; living in the ghetto; getting reaquainted with old friends; finding a job; meeting Olivier and moving into a house; Christmas spirit; and loving my best friend more than life itself.....