hearing TAPS

It always makes me cry. I know that all military installations play it at bedtime, but it's the playing at funerals that tears my heart out.

When I was a kid, hearing TAPS off in the distance (we lived near a military base) was comforting. It's peaceful and meant to help one drift off to sleep. It's calming, and always sounded so angelic off in the distance.

The first military funeral I attended was when I was in high school. A former schoolmate was killed in a car accident while serving in the Army. She had a seven gun salute, and the TAPS completely made me fall apart. Every time I heard it after that, it meant something different to me. It meant forever sleep, albet peaceful as it still sounded.

At my father's military funeral, he had a three gun salute (for being a veteran and not an active duty serviceman), and then they played TAPS. I was fine until then. I know how deeply my Dad felt about his service to our country and his patriotism. TAPS was a honor to him, his service, and once again a reminder that forever sleep.

I'll never be able to hear it without the tears. Losing someone so close and associating the playing of TAPS to the grieving process, just brings it all back to the fore front on my heart. I miss him every day, but these reminders will probably always affect me this way.


.....Daddy, I miss you.....every day......I see you on the football fields, in the slot machines, when I see "In and Out" burger signs, in the faces of my daughters, at SAFCO field, during cooking shows.....you're everywhere.....thank you so much for being my Dad and my friend......I love you....


Happy thoughts today: My Dad; getting more boxes packed; MK orders; coffee; Facebook conversations with Holly; healthy hair; bananas; puppy snuggles.