I must admit that I follow the Kardashian's, watch reality tv, believe in fairytale endings.......I know I am not alone in my dreams and curiosity since all these things are always in our faces.
Most recently, Kim Kardashian married Kris Humphries. Okay...another confession....I had never heard of Kris Humphries prior to his getting involved with Kim......the wedding was about two months ago, and Kim filed for divorce yesterday.
Why is this important? Well in all honesty, in my world it's not. Yes it's facinating and I am somewhat disappointed that someone who has so much influence on young people who are nearing the age of marriage can walk away so easily from an "oops I might have made a mistake" marriage.....but the real reason it bothers me is that people seem to discount the true value and comittment marriage is.
Backstory: I am divorced, so yes I do know the trials and heartache that splitting up from someone you've made that ultimate committment to. Except my marriage lasted 11 years....probably five years longer than it should have. We just had no idea what lay ahead when we got married, and through those 11 years, we bot made so many mistakes. It was inevitable that we'd end up in divorce court. At least at the end it was amicable, and we went on to have much happier lives with other people.
I've heard my girls say through the years that they're never getting married because they'll just end up divorced like their parents. I don't know if it's herditary or not.....my parents were divorced too.......but that declaration from my girls broke my heart. NOT every marriage ends in divorce. There are so many happy couples who stay together their entire lives. There IS hope for them.
So when I see people who are in the public eye, who have influence over our young people (even though it's indirect.....our youth want to "be like" celebrities) leave marraiges that might be saved if you just give it a chance, I get a bit angry. For now my kids aren't really mimicking me and what I do......but what their favorite celebrities are doing.
Okay, I'm not advocating for celebrities to stay in abusive, unhappy, awful marriages. That would be ridiculous. But what I am saying is that these people, in most cases, have much more influence on young people in their 20's than their parents do. Yes, we raised them right....taught them well, and when they get older they'll inevitably say "Mom/Dad you were so smart."
How do you know your marriage is a mistake after 72 days? Yeah, it might be wierd, a hard adjustment, uncomfortable......but when you're a zillionaire, don't you have plenty of money for some marriage counseling? When did people stop fighting for love, the committment, the marriage?
I have so many friends who are divorced, so I am in no way judging people who find themselves ending their marriage for whatever reason. Maybe it's the younger generation? Easy in, easy out. Maybe that's it.
Let me just end this by saying this: my current spouse has given me more than one reason or opportunity to end this marriage. He has cheated and lied pretty much through our entire 13 year marriage. I just made up my mind that I would fight for our love and our relationship. If it was a one person fight, okay,I can handle tha for awhile. If it's not something he wants, I'm okay with walking away too. At least I fought for the love I have for my husband......I have wanted to give up so many times....but I am grateful I didn't. For today at least, we are good. I want this marriage to succeed.....but if at some point in the future he is not as faithful to this marriage as I am, I will walk away. I mean, you can only fight for something for so long before you realize it's a losing battle.
But it's lastest a lot longer than 72 days....and for all I know, my current husband was out looking around after that length of time. But what I do know is that fighting for what you want and what you believe in a much healthier life lesson than taking the easy way out.
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